Wednesday, September 10, 2008

then it goes...

expectation
leads to

disappointment
then it leads to

depression
and finally one becomes...

"dakilang emotera at dakilang adik!"

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

life has always been like this

*sigh*

why does fate always leads me here???
why do i need to always feel like this???
have i not experienced enough??? maybe...
have i not learned yet??? hmmm..
well, maybe because i'm just the way i am...
i've always been like this
no matter how many times i've been left alone...
taken for granted...
not appreciated...
i'm still me...
the one who always take the fault...
who does the effort...
who always gives...
and gives and gives...
i just hope that time won't come that i'll be emptied
and there's nothing left for me to give...
even a little for myself...

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

back to the same old??

"we are broken, what must we do to restore our innocence?"
"i'll be just fine, pretending i'm not, afar from lonely and that's all that i've got"

february should be the love month, right? looks like it didn't work out for me that way... i had a fight with my best friend (and i'm not talking to him right now), lost trust to my sisterettes, and had a misunderstanding with my close friend (and she's ignoring me now)...

i don't want to feel like this, no one does! now that i'm starting to build a new friendship again (missing my high school friends), it breaks... am i back to being the loner in school? who sits quietly alone in the corner with my mp3 on listening to mopey songs, feeling like no one understands me, no one even cares... am i back to being friends with 'The Used' and other 'emo' bands? the lyrics above are now back into my mind... as much as i hate being emo, it's what i'm feeling right now...

there's still a part of me that feels calm and happy because there's a friend who makes me feel that way... thanks bote! you may never know how much you've touched my life... i'm very grateful that i have a friend like you... thanks for understanding me, just tell me if you've had enough... i'll understand...

i don't want my old self back... i'm hoping that i will be okay before this month ends...